Gottman Therapists in Calgary and Virtually
The Gottman Method is a couples therapy approach that focuses on improving communication and understanding in relationships. The basic premise behind the Gottman Method is that relationships can be strengthened if couples learn to recognize negative patterns in their interactions with each other, replace those patterns with more positive ones, understand each other better (and themselves), resolve conflict constructively rather than destructively, deal with problems as soon as possible instead of letting them fester or ignore them altogether.
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Treatment begins with a conjoint session, followed by individual interviews with each partner. Couples complete questionnaires and then receive detailed feedback on their relationship, after which the couple and therapist decide on the frequency and duration of the sessions. Interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management, and creation of shared meaning. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and to repair past hurts. Interventions designed to increase closeness and intimacy are used to improve friendship, deepen emotional connection, and create changes which enhances the couples shared goals
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The Basics
It’s built on the Sound Relationship House, a seven-level model:
Love Maps: Know your partner’s inner world (hopes, stresses, quirks).
Fondness and Admiration: Share appreciation to build positivity.
Turn Toward: Respond to bids for attention (e.g., “Nice sunset!” gets a reply, not silence).
Positive Perspective: See issues as solvable, not personal attacks.
Manage Conflict: Handle disagreements without gridlock—69% of conflicts are perpetual anyway.
Life Dreams: Support each other’s goals.
Shared Meaning: Create a life with purpose (rituals, values).
Key Focus: The Four Horsemen
It targets four toxic behaviors that tank relationships:
Criticism: Blaming character (“You’re selfish”) vs. a specific gripe (“I felt ignored”).
Contempt: Mockery or superiority (sneering, eye-rolling)—the top divorce predictor.
Defensiveness: Dodging responsibility instead of listening.
Stonewalling: Shutting down emotionally.
How It Works
Couples learn practical skills:
Soft Startups: Open talks gently (“I’m worried about us” vs. “You’re the problem”).
Repair Attempts: Defuse tension mid-fight (e.g., “Let’s take a break” or a quick joke).
Self-Soothing: Calm down during stress spikes (think timeouts or deep breaths).
Therapists assess couples via interviews and questionnaires, then tailor exercises to fix weak spots—like poor conflict habits or low trust.
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Find out how the Gottman Method and our therapists can take your relationship to new heights. Book a complimentary consultation with our Director of Client Care, Amy. A psychologist herself, she’ll make sure she pairs with you with the best therapist(s) for your issues and personalities.
The Gottman Method’s strength is it’s accessibility: you don’t need a PHD to grasp it and the results (improved satisfaction, communication, and longevity) hold up in studies. It’s less about theory and more about what’s proven to work - backed by data, not just vibes.
Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman have revolutionized the study of marriage and relationships. For five decades they have conducted research on all facets of relationships, including parenting issues. They have developed an approach that not only supports and repairs troubled marriages and committed relationships, but also strengthens happy ones.
The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.
“How Long Does It Take To Fix a Marriage? Give the Gottmans 7 Days”
“The Einstein of Love
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“You Should Probably Start Paying Attention to ‘Bids’ in Your Relationship”
Globally Recognized as #1 Couples Counselling Method by Millions Worldwide
Find out how the Gottman Method and our therapists can take your relationship to new heights. Book a complimentary consultation with our Director of Client Care, Amy. A psychologist herself, she’ll make sure she pairs with you with the best therapist(s) for your issues and personalities.
A 2018 clinical trial showed that couples who completed 10 sessions of the Gottman Method scored significantly higher in intimacy and relationship quality. Let our experience and professional training guide you.
Gottman Couples Specialists
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Wanda Chevrette (she/her), Registered Psychologist
Gottman Certified Therapist
(Accepting Waitlist)
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Lindsay McNena (she/her), Registered Psychologist
Gottman Level I & II Training
(Accepting Waitlist)
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Tyler Schamehorn (he/him), Registered Provisional Psychologist
Gottman Level I & II Training
(Accepting Waitlist)
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Michelle Bazin (she/her), Registered Provisional Psychologist
Gottman Level I & II Training
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Cait Forget (she/her), Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
Gottman Level I & II Training