Developing New Thanksgiving Traditions
With the holiday season coming up, it is a great time to work on developing connections with partners and family members. These meaningful activities help bring us closer to those we love and care about, while also honouring our traditions, heritage, and values. There are endless ways of engaging in ritual connections, which are familiar ways of interacting with people that demonstrate the importance of the relationship: what your family does for holiday dinners, gift giving, attending religious ceremonies, or any other way you spend time together (I always make sure to end Christmas Eve by watching the original “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”).
This can also translate into relationships outside of the holidays, such as having a standing date night on Saturdays with your partner or making time for self-care to look after yourself (yes, your relationship with yourself counts too!). In new or evolving relationships, finding a way to blend family traditions with new activities can be important to foster a sense of connection and a coming together of different backgrounds into something more cohesive and unique. However, holidays can also be a challenging time if you’ve experienced a loss; this could include anything from death or divorce to having children newly out of the home and missing Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. As well, we often have an idea of how things “should” go during these times, which can put added pressure on ourselves and lead to feelings of grief if activities don’t go as planned. Oftentimes, taking a few minutes to check in with yourself and identify where certain feelings are coming from can be very helpful; we may not have the ability to change the circumstances, but we are in control of how we respond to them.
This could mean reframing things to look at the positives or letting go of expectations. Being gentle with yourself and understanding that your feelings are valid is also important; things can be difficult but also happy.
What can you do?
Read this article from The Gottman Institute for an example of how one family developed their own ritual of connection: https://www.gottman.com/blog/creating-your-own-holiday-rituals/
Or, check out this blog from the Grief Recovery Institute for more information about grief and loss during the holidays:
https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/blog/2022/12/grief-and-expectations-during-holidays-lois
Reach out to one of the excellent counsellors or psychologists at Center Street Psychology for in-person support in Calgary, or virtual mental health services in Alberta and Canada-wide.
Written by: Lindsay Mcnena
