Teens & Tech: Part 2
Hello, and welcome back to another Center Street Psychology blog! If this is your first time here, please know that we cover all areas and all topics for all people. This week we are going to explore teenage mental health.
As we discussed last week, being able to relate with teens in our life can be difficult. They are living in a very different stage of life with its own set of challenges, as some of us might remember. Each generation of teens has its own unique culture as well, which can sometimes make building and navigating relationships with teens challenging. It is worth remembering that teens are at a point of having many new experiences and feelings, so it is important to ensure that they have adequate coping skills to handle these situations successfully.
A helpful framework for working with teens is dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), which has a strong focus on addressing big emotions and meeting people where they are at. The four pillars of DBT therapy are skills focused on mindfulness (being present in the now), emotional regulation (being able to identify and manage emotional responses), interpersonal effectiveness (how to communicate and have healthy relationships with others), and distress tolerance (tolerating highly emotional experiences and not making them worse).
In this context, dialectical refers to how two seemingly opposite things can both be possible (Eich, 2015). As DBT is a highly skill-based for teens and they can learn these skills while applying them to real-life situations. It makes sense for a teen to have these skills as they navigate hormonal changes while attempting to form their own identity. Being a teenager isn’t easy as they are expected to be a kid as their body evolves during puberty; with this complexity, teens have tools for distress tolerance and experiencing big feelings can help with developing connections, building their self-esteem, and resolving conflict with their friends.
While adults might want to instill life skills like helping teens learn responsibility, it is imperative that teens’ have opportunities to build their sense of belonging and self-expression which are critical developmental milestones for adolescents. Validation is a big part of DBT that is also critical in helping other people feel seen and heard (Eich, 2015). We might fear that being too validating will encourage maladaptive responses or uncomfortable feelings but please remember that it’s our job to validate growing humans and their feelings. We don’t have to agree to validate someone’s experience because it then becomes about us and not them!
Also, it is okay to get down to a teens level and ask about their interests! Some of the best conversations can happen in the vehicle driving from school to soccer. Kids want to be heard but also don’t want a strict agenda to follow. Get curious! You might be surprised at the connections that await you around the corner when you make moments intentional! There is no better way to bridge the gap between teens and adults than by speaking the same language!
Check out this helpful resource for some other practical tips on how to relate with teens from Kids Help Phone:
7 ways to build authentic connections with teens - Kids Help Phone
Please reach out to us at Center Street Psychology if you would like to discuss more about our services. We provide support to a wide range of people, including teens. We provide a collaborative approach and are happy to provide you with a complimentary consultation to help potential “fit” with one of our counsellors. We are an inclusive clinic, located in Calgary, Alberta, providing in-person, virtual or hybrid services within Alberta and across Canada. Please call 403-399-5120 to speak with our Director of Client Care, Amy, who will gently guide you through the counselling process.
Written by Tyler Schamehorn
References
Eich, J. (2015). Dialectical behavior therapy skills and training with adolescents: A practical workbook for therapists, teens and parents. PESI Publishing and Media.
